Friday, November 21, 2008


I've been trying to figure out how to get out of the pontificating dribble that has been my life for the past 12 months. However, my life is sucking in monumental proportions right now, so at the moment it is all about me.
Until things have changed, i think i will refrain from posting for a while.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


I don't know if i've ever mentioned. I was once pretty popular. I was the prom queen in high school, class officer all four years, class favorite junior and senior year, Homecoming court, etc. etc. Even then, i wondered what the big deal was. I was nice to people. I wanted to make a difference in someones' life by being cordial, and collegial. I was not searching for popularity or looking to be well liked. I wanted to make a difference in someones' day. I wanted them to be able to say that they were having a bad day until i showed up. So i was nice. To everyone. No matter where the fell in the shallow, high schoolish food chain.
My high school was relatively low key. We had your typical categories, but we weren't really discriminatory in our cliques. I was not a cheerleader (didn't really see the point. I thought i could do more from the inside), but my best friend was and i hung with them frequently. I planned dances for school, about 4 a year for four years, but only attended them when nominated for this, that or the other. I wasn't a kicker (aka cowgirl), but i had Trisha Yearwoods' latest tape. Yeah, i said tape. Remember those? The football players took me in because i was cute and light hearted and just downright small. Then, i wasn't even 5 feet tall (and probably weighed somewhere around 120 or so), so they quickly and easily adopted me as little sis and took good care of me. Student Council was my thing. That was where i knew that i was doing something that would benefit everyone. I proposed the very first Homecoming King at my high school. They still do it today. I would get passes from teachers on assignments and such because they knew that i was not a threat and meant no harm. I still keep in touch with quite a few of them.
For all that it was worth, though that's where i discovered that i could make a difference. That my life, as simple as it was mattered to someone. Those are the things that i have to say everyday to keep going. I used to think that was conceited, but i can name at least a dozen people who that holds for me. I consider it an honor to have them in my life. All of them read this blog regularly as i have spent the year selfishly rambling about myself and my problems.
As i write this today, probably the most uneventful birthday i have ever had in my life, but better than the 26th birthday when i was keeping company that should not have been kept, i am pressed to thank these people for taking the time to understand me, forgive me, advise me, help me when necessary, and let me cry for how ever long i needed to.
Thank you Andre' for being my friend. Thank you Kesha for being my friend. Thank you Adrian for being my friend.
I say this with all honesty and sincerity -- i truly could not have made it to 32 without you.
Happy Birthday to me! Thanks to you!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Humpty Dumpty

...And all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put Humpty together again.
As I lay here flat on my back for the third straight day, I begin to wonder if everything will cease to work all at once.
If you read this and you pray. For the love of the God that I serve, pray that he makes the pain go away.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Lift Every Voice and Sing!

I wanted so badly to post on election night or day after election day. I really messed up my back somehow and have pretty much been immobile since Wednesday.
I woke up Wednesday morning expecting a pink sky or something. It just didn't seem real to have people in the white house who look like me.
I was reading about this black man who registered to vote for the first time ever. He was 55 years old.
Every time i talked about it with someone, my eyes welled up and i could only shake my head in disbelief. I, like many other blacks, did not believe that white America meant what they said when they said they would vote for Obama. I also did not believe that enough minorities would go out and do what they were supposed to do.
All over campus Wednesday, pro Obama people black and white would smile at each other with that knowing smile. There were Obama t-shirts enmasse. It was the most amazing thing to see, and feel. I say feel because you could actually feel the energy from people. Their excitement and pride was in the air.
There were of course a few dissenters. They felt that christians should vote Republican. There was a burning of Obama signs in one of the campus BBQ pits. There was a noose in a tree on Tuesday morning. This particular university really has its head in the sand concerning racism. It's really quite frustrating. Nonetheless, they cannot change the outcome.
There will be a woman in the White House who gets a relaxer on a regular basis. There will be two small children in the White House for the first time in over 25 years. They will have to change the lighting anytime the First Family is on t.v. Things like oil sheen and Optimum conditioner will be on the grocery list.
It doesn't really seem real. I can't wait for January.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Nick kids pick the President

How funny is this? The Nickelodeon network decided to have a mock election. The kids got to vote and they picked Barack Obama 51% to John McCain's 49% with over 2 million kids voting. Not only that, the kids have been right 4 out of the past 5 elections. Interesting.....

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Here's the thing....

"Ch******* is not very political but appreciates that Sarah Palin is honest about her associates, her religious views, and her birth certificates."
This is the "status" of an associate on Facebook. This person by all intent and purposes is intelligent. She is studying to receive a PhD, and does community work, is involved in her church and does (of all things) research. So why does this quote irk me so? It gives credence to the crap that has become an election.
So, allow me to say it out right. I REFUSE to vote for someone based on religion, income bracket or race. I will however, vote based on facts and not rumors created by people on either side. The truth is that Barack Obama has been honest about all of the above, and only a person who refuses to acknowledge that they are voting for someone just because of party, and not because of issues. The bottom line is, if the Repbulican party had been able to produce someone worth spending my time on, maybe they would have at least gotten a second look. Not to mention they have spent the last 8 years lying and misrepresenting themselves and this so called war on terror that never should have started.
The particular person quoted above will vote Republican no matter what. I think that notion is pure ignorance. Once upon a time the Republican party was based on social justice and freeing slaves. The Democratic party was intent on keeping blacks in America enslaved. Things can change, and to go with one party because they agree only with your religious beliefs or gun laws or gay marriage stance, is not enough of a reason to vote for one party.
There are multiple layers to politics and every four years i reevaluate why i vote/believe the way that i do. Has it worked? Will it continue to work? What was the leadership like? Is it time for a change? Do we need to reevaluate the system as a whole?
I don't vote democrat because Barack Obama "looks" like me. I vote for him because Republicans have spent 8 years showing their ass and it's time for something new.