For most of my life i have felt as if i am in a holding pattern. Waiting for the next great thing to happen to me. Hoping that whatever happens next won't destroy me. I pray about almost every move i make and am working toward praying for every move that i make.
Lately, however i have been feeling like i have accomplished nothing. I am in fact degreed twice over. I have a job. I own a car and a home, but still felt unaccomplished. Why? My job doesn't pay very much at all. If i had a child and were single, i would qualify for welfare. Here's the catch -- i like my job. For the first time in a long time. I like my job. Possibly for the first time ever. So what else you say? I would like to be able to travel on a whim. I would like a car with four doors instead of two. All of these things plus a few others had me feeling as though i was behind. But behind what?
Here's the thing. I realized the other day that everywhere i go i manage to make someone happy. I manage to help a little bit and put in time that is so important to me. What is important to me is to help people. And if that means that I get a new job every few years doing it, then so be it. As long as i'm happy with it what difference does it make? This has been happiest i have been in a long long time. Yet, i feel the tug to move on. That whatever i needed to do here on this job for me or for someone else has been done. I go wherever God takes me. I have discovered that things for me don't really happen on a whim. It may seem serendipitous to some but for me it is more divine.
I realized last night that i am okay right where i am. I should stop looking for the next degree to get or more money to earn.... My place is wherever i am right now....
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5 years ago