Monday, December 3, 2007

Now what?

For years I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought that the way i processed information was wrong, incorrect, inadequate. I thought i was stupid. I have two degrees, but not without a fight. I feel so incredibly incompetent so much of the time. I don't process information well, i don't think very fast on my feet. I have a hard time keeping up with things. I forget why i do things or have done things. I thought all of this was because of ADD. Turns out, I'm just stupid. Turns out, I'm actually too smart for ADD. Go figure.
I don't know what to do with that information. I have tried so many different things to be able to balance school and work. I'm unhappy with my job. I'm unhappy with my degree. I have borrowed enough money to go to school to finance a small company, and don't want to borrow more. I'm sure that there is an answer somewhere to my questions. I just don't know what it is. I don't want to do this job forever. I can't afford to do this job forever. So, now what?

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