Popular

I don't know if i've ever mentioned. I was once pretty popular. I was the prom queen in high school, class officer all four years, class favorite junior and senior year, Homecoming court, etc. etc. Even then, i wondered what the big deal was. I was nice to people. I wanted to make a difference in someones' life by being cordial, and collegial. I was not searching for popularity or looking to be well liked. I wanted to make a difference in someones' day. I wanted them to be able to say that they were having a bad day until i showed up. So i was nice. To everyone. No matter where the fell in the shallow, high schoolish food chain.
My high school was relatively low key. We had your typical categories, but we weren't really discriminatory in our cliques. I was not a cheerleader (didn't really see the point. I thought i could do more from the inside), but my best friend was and i hung with them frequently. I planned dances for school, about 4 a year for four years, but only attended them when nominated for this, that or the other. I wasn't a kicker (aka cowgirl), but i had Trisha Yearwoods' latest tape. Yeah, i said tape. Remember those? The football players took me in because i was cute and light hearted and just downright small. Then, i wasn't even 5 feet tall (and probably weighed somewhere around 120 or so), so they quickly and easily adopted me as little sis and took good care of me. Student Council was my thing. That was where i knew that i was doing something that would benefit everyone. I proposed the very first Homecoming King at my high school. They still do it today. I would get passes from teachers on assignments and such because they knew that i was not a threat and meant no harm. I still keep in touch with quite a few of them.
For all that it was worth, though that's where i discovered that i could make a difference. That my life, as simple as it was mattered to someone. Those are the things that i have to say everyday to keep going. I used to think that was conceited, but i can name at least a dozen people who that holds for me. I consider it an honor to have them in my life. All of them read this blog regularly as i have spent the year selfishly rambling about myself and my problems.
As i write this today, probably the most uneventful birthday i have ever had in my life, but better than the 26th birthday when i was keeping company that should not have been kept, i am pressed to thank these people for taking the time to understand me, forgive me, advise me, help me when necessary, and let me cry for how ever long i needed to.
Thank you Andre' for being my friend. Thank you Kesha for being my friend. Thank you Adrian for being my friend.
I say this with all honesty and sincerity -- i truly could not have made it to 32 without you.
Happy Birthday to me! Thanks to you!