Realizations

I'm starting over. Not in a New Year's resolution sort of way. But in a "i can't go backward, i can only move forward sort of way." It's just the truth.
I cannot change the horrible-ness that was last year. I cannot undecide the decisions and how quantifiably stupid they were. I cannot do anything to change how i feel at the moment or then, but i can move forward. I can try again. I can only fix and worry about me and those that have been charged to me. Unfortunately, i realized a little too late that some are and some are not. My friends are wonderful people, but i have decided to focus on those that are honest with themselves and me and will help me to grow as a person and that i will somehow be able to help them do the same. No BS this year, my 32 year. I just can't do it anymore. I don't have to the energy to continue to believe that everything will be ok when i know that what is right in front of me is not necessarily right.....or healthy (thank you ACT).
Here's the bottom line. I believe in what God has for me no matter how i feel on any given day. I believe that my future is brighter because of everything that is in it and somethings that are not. I believe in the choices i have made to this point, even the poor ones. They help make you who you are, right? I believe that God has better for me than the last year or the very important situation that helped make it. I am better than that.
So, for year 32, I start over. I pray again. I think before i act again. I think before i speak again. I pray before big decisions are made. I don't make big decisions in the moment of emotion. Be wiser. I already have regrets. Let's not make it worse than it already is. I can't change what was. So maybe i can change what will be.....with better choices.