Fresh

Ok. This is the part where i repeat the mantra "I will be okay. I will be okay. I will be okay." My circumstances are only temporary. I realize that. I think what i don't get is why every circumstance, every trial has to come so close together. I know that i am constantly fighting, literally warring for my gifts, my strength, my ministry. I understand that. I just would like a little time of peace in the midst of the war. No matter how logical i am. No matter what i know the truth to be. I just can never seem to find that peace. I'm exhausted all the time. I wake up in the middle of the night either from praying or dreaming. Lately it's been dreaming. A LOT of dreaming. I'm tired. I can't function when i'm like this. I can't think straight when i'm like this.
I am very aware that to whom much is given much is required. I understand. I do, but no where does it say that to whom much is given much less sleep will you have.
I'M TIRED!
And i'm tired of being tired. I guess i just don't understand why in the world God won't allow me to have a good nights' sleep. Just one every once in a while would be greatly appreciated. That's how i started drinking. From not sleeping. Now i have a double fold problem on my hands and hope that i can figure out while not ruining myself with the other.
Rambling......that's what exhaustion gets you........rambling.