Permissive Will vs. Perfect Will

God's permissive will is defined as God giving you what you want even though it may not be the best thing for you.
God's perfect will is defined as God giving you what He feels you need, which may not even necessarily be what you want, but it works out better that way anyway.
A girl has got to realize when she is acting in God's permissive will. I cannot be foolish anymore. I'm kidding myself. And i must keep reminding myself that my life is not about what i want or what i THINK that i want. Sure, i have desires that i hope that God will someday fulfill, but i would talk so much sh*% about a girl in my position.
I would tell her that she really needs to stop all of this and remember that she is better than this situation. That maybe she is being distracted from the person in her life who is actually available to her. That maybe if she can't let things go, she should at least put herself out there so that she can be reminded that there are single people in the universe who are whole and holy. Most importantly, i would remind her that this is not what God wants for her. Not under any circumstances of any life before and after now. God's best is not this. Vermin sneak around, looking for things that don't belong to them and hope they don't get caught. She is better than vermin.
My biggest problem in life is....i never seem to listen to my own freaking advice.
I'm still trying to figure out why that is. What is it about me that feels i don't deserve good things? Is love really patient? I hope so. And i hope that everyday when i pray for my future husband that he is somewhere patiently waiting for me to be whole and healed and praying for me.
God and love are both intangible, and they are the two things in life that people have a hard time believing for themselves. They can believe it and see it for everyone else. But everyone HOPES to be loved. When in reality, we are already loved. God loves us more than anything. The day that i realized that was the day that i decided that i wanted to be in God's perfect will. I did not realize it at the time, but that's what it was. Avalon says
I don't want to go somewhere
If i know that you're not there.
Cause i know the me with you is a lie.
I don't want to walk that road
Be a million miles from home,
Cause my heart needs to be right where you are.
There are rules in place because God wants what's best for us. He wants the best for us. When you break a rule, you are not only breaking a rule, but you are breaking God's heart because he knows that what we are choosing to do is not in his perfect will. Obedience is hard. Especially when you want what you want. But being in God's will. His perfect will. Is better.