Friday, July 25, 2008

Give it away

Yesterday was hard. I dealt with it though. I tried to focus more on the result and what the result should be. The result should be that i give everything to God. EVERYTHING
I think that there are some situations in my life right now that have been pushed forward because of what i have done. I think that my complications with certain relationships came about because of what i did..... I don't think i am making myself clear. I am inclined to believe that one of these relationships was supposed to come about eventually, but since i took control, it came about too early and is causing complication that may not have been there had i let God have it. I think that makes more since. The reason i think this is because of the work that is being done in me. I don't believe that it was meant to be done in the same circle as some people. I believe that i was meant to go through this and then the relationship could be whatever it was supposed to be. That way, things would not be complicated. Things would be clear.
Yesterday, i tried to give it to God. All of the thoughts that should not have been in my head. All of the feelings that cause the discontent that should not be there. I tried to give it to God. It's a process. Because for me that also means being patient, and as i said in an earlier post, patience is not necessarily my thing. But i must give it away.
In an earlier post i wrote the line to an FFH song "Lord move. Or move me." I think God is moving me....right out of the way so that he can do the perfect work in me that should be done. So that my life can be simple enough to depend on Him without doubt, without trepidation, without fear.
Ironically enough, the thought process that i had when i was praying what i thought were unanswered prayers as a child, should be revisited now. Child-like faith is what God wants from us. To believe as children believe and not doubt. To get back to the simplicity of what God really is. Who God really is.
3But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ. 2 Corinthians 11:3
Those are Paul's' words to the church of Corinth. We should never stray away from the pure devotion to Christ. When we do, we become prime cuts for the devil. Believe it or not, one of my most favorite versus is 10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10
The enemy wants to destroy you. If that means he will use other people to do it, then he will. If that means he will use situations to do it, then he will. When i am in the place that i have been in for the past 6 months, i try to remember that the devil wants to destroy me, and i should do everything in my spiritual power to not allow it. If that means dumping people, it means dumping people. If that means dumping some social situations, then it must be done. If that means dumping certain movies or music, then so be it. People are the hardest, but i believe the most necessary.
When people around you start to change your devotion to Christ, it's time to move around. Nothing should separate us. I have allowed things to separate me, but NOTHING should separate us from our relationship, our time, our devotion to God.
Through all of this, i have wanted nothing more on Sunday mornings than to stay in the bed and not be bothered. But i have learned from past experiences that that is not the way. That is not what God wants. During this time He wants us to be closer than ever. Try harder than ever no matter what. I get a little closer every time. I still went to church, but kept to myself in the beginning. In times like these, you can't be alone with your thoughts and feelings to run ram shot in your brain. That only makes it worse. You only feel worse, and it only leaves room for the enemy to come in and work his stuff in your head. I'm getting it. Little by little i'm getting it. It's all a mental fight, but the fight won't be a fight if you continue to stay in God's presence.

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