The Power of Positivity

This has been an interesting year. I believe that God wanted growth from me this year. No matter how I screwed it up, H e was determined to see growth in me. If I was willing to take it, He was willing to grow me. My frequent prayer for strength would come to pass, but not without the steps to make stronger.
This week's ah ha moment is to release the fear. I'll explain.
It occurred to me today that my fear of relationships stems from my parents marriage. "Yeah, yeah." You say, "You've already covered that." Here's what's new to be added to that..... My fear was based on a lack of faith. A lack of faith that was established through my parents' marriage that planted a terrible, terrible seed that would follow me the rest of my life.
When I was a kid, I used to pray to God that my Dad would not cheat on my Mom anymore and that we could all be happy together. I prayed that prayer A LOT. It never came to pass. As a child that unanswered prayer, at least that's how my 10 year old brain perceived it, meant that God didn't care. I was mad at God. I wouldn't admit it then. Twenty years later I was still reluctant to admit it. But I have been mad at God, when I really should have been mad at the devil. God had nothing to do with my parents breaking up. Did I want Him to intervene? Of course. Was that possible based on the realm of free will that God created for us? No. My Father CHOSE to do what he did and behave the way that he did. My mother chose to marry him. Now, here's where it gets sticky. Beyond the creation of my sister and I, that marriage should have never happened. She had doubts before she got into it and chose to ignore them. What hand could God have in people who decide to give life a go on their own? Not much except to clean it up after. I don't know about you, but I don't wan to have God as a "clean up man". We choose our fate. That is what Bob wanted me to see. And since we choose our fate, we have to deal with any negative consequences. Deal with it. Don't leave your life to chance. Pray daily.