I found a list

As i have been plagued with insomnia yet again (i think i have slept a total of 8 hours the past two nights), i have been cleaning and organizing. While organizing one room, i found a journal from more than 10 years ago that contained a list that my sister and i made of what we would like in a future husband. I think i was about 20 or 21 at the time. It's pretty comical to read now, but i thought i would post it because it's kind of fun too. So, here we go unedited:
1. saved
2. financially stable
3. 5'10" - 6'8"
4. no children
5. limited sexual past
6. stable family life
7. honest
8. trustworthy
9. sense of humor but knows when to be serious
10. faithful
11. responsible
12. trustful
13. good looking
14. nice eyes
15. nice smile
16. nice teeth
17. sensitive
18. reserved
19. mutual family liking
20. at least 3 years older
21. unselfish
22. good conversation
23. ambitious
24. intelligent
25. encouraging
26. physically fit for his size
27. well mannered
28. good tempered
29. patient
30. not cheap
31. has his own running vehicle
32. hardworking but relaxed
33. outspoken but knows when to keep quiet
34 spontaneous
35. athletic
36. healthy in every aspect

Clearly this list is from a very young and inexperienced mind. I look at this list now and there are some things that would be moved up, removed all together and moved down. Patience would definitely be in my top five since i know i have ADD. Encouraging would be in my top 10. Spontaneous would be in my top 10. I would take the height requirement out of my top 10. haha
I look at this list wondering if it will even come to pass. I want to be married just like the next person, but well, we'll have to see.
It's really sort of ironic. For years, especially after my first serious relationship ended, i didn't care if i got married or not. I didn't care if i had children or not. Now, however, i would love to be married, i would love to have my 3 or more children. I would like to be a mom. I've never admitted that or said that out loud. I would like to be a mom. Before, being a mom scared me. It's such a huge responsibility. Being responsible for the well being of another person for the rest of your life or their lives is overwhelming. I know from other moms that the responsibility does not stop just because your child grows up. You may not have as much input as you used to, but they will always be your baby.
We're reading a great book in the Women's ministry at church by Myles Munroe called the Purpose and Power of Woman. The Men's ministry is reading The Purpose and Power of Man. When we finish our books we're going to switch and read each others' books. I'm very excited about it because of how differently men and women communicate. I always know that, but when i'm in a relationship, it always goes right out the window. When i talk to my friends about their relationship, i tell them "you have to think like a guy. You cannot think like a girl." And that is usually the number one mistake that i make. Funny, i know. I don't know. I think that i'm so busy thinking that this person should be taking care of me and doing what i ask that i don't even care....to a point.
One of the things i realized about myself since i made that list and have been in a few relationships since that list, is that i tend to get into self preservation mode. Especially after my first serious relationship. Only the National Guard could get in after that. I did not make it easy and sometimes i was not nice. So, now, i'm trying to be a little more open and accepting. Not so tough and school of hard knox. I have realized though that it's easier for a girl to think like a guy than it is for a guy to think like a girl. I can't wait to see what the Purpose and Power of Man says about how we should be treating them. The Women's book was pretty much on point.
I THINK EVERY GUY SHOULD READ IT!!!
When i make this move to Houston, I'm going to be better. In a better place emotionally, spiritually, mentally (i hope). I'm looking forward to the change. I wish it could happen sooner, but it'll be great when it does.
It will be funny to curl up with someone and laugh about the contents of my list and other things in that journal together. It would be great.